I quit writing.
I got too busy…I thought.
But my brain just got more cluttered.
Slowly, over and over again, I’m learning that I need a way to output.
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I need long deep conversations.
I need to write and pour out my heart.
I need to pray…in the long rambling way that I don’t make time for often enough.
I need to dig deep and lean hard into what God is doing in my heart.
And before I quit writing, I forgot why I started in the first place. I forgot that I don’t write for productivity or platform. I don’t write to grow my following or make new friends. I don’t write to make art or feel accomplished…
I write to process because it reveals what God is doing deep inside me.
I write to learn because God teaches me through it.
I write to teach what I’m learning because I can’t help my urge to pass on knowledge.
I write to bless because I have been blessed through others using their gifts.
I write to bless because God has blessed me.
You might not write…
…but we all learn and process somehow. We paint or sing or run or organize things, but whichever it is, we have to actually do something in order for the growth to happen.
Growth won’t happen without intentioned action.
And I’m being reminded once again, that abandoning my primary form of processing is unhealthy.
I don’t want to be a shallow person.
I don’t want to hurry through life so that I can avoid looking deep into my own heart and life.
I don’t want to miss what God is doing in me because I refuse to notice His attempts to work.
So I’m reminding myself to slow down enough to notice, to process, to learn, to share.
I’m reminding myself to write…why I write.
I’m reminding myself to dig deep and go slow and notice what God is doing in me.
I’m reminding myself to allow what He is doing in me to also become something He is doing through me.
I’ve been hiding from myself…and I don’t want to hide anymore.
How do you process? How can you tell if you’re hiding from yourself?