by Alesha Sinks | Oct 19, 2018 | Just Me
I sat on the park bench watching.
Watching my husband chase our three year old up and down the ramps and slides.
Watching our one year old climb up and down the slide.
Watching older kids run past shouting and laughing.
Watching the overcast sky fade from pale grey to dark gray.
The breeze was light, but just cool enough to feel that first hint of fall.
Fall.
<img src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/55c38a57e4b00989028332c9/1539889710948-53U6H7OHR2EQN7RZJH4A/ke17ZwdGBToddI8pDm48kNPKVmbt05aEWnErXou3fDl7gQa3H78H3Y0txjaiv_0fDoOvxcdMmMKkDsyUqMSsMWxHk725yiiHCCLfrh8O1z4YTzHvnKhyp6Da-NYroOW3ZGjoBKy3azqku80C789l0tb-hnCqoepq4X8c1traqO_6-8vaS3UGENu9QP5pfFlLbyLeIY6QzmBTG9h7XCKkkQ/IMG_0515.JPG?format=original" alt=""/>
I looked around, feeling that warm-but-not-hot air and the ever-so-slightly-cool breeze winding around me. I had forgotten.
In the long, hot months of Florida summer, I had forgotten that another season would come. And I had forgotten how wonderful it is when it does.
I sat there silently marveling.
Marveling that somehow I could forget that summer would be over and the heat would fade and we could go outside in the evening into the most perfect weather.
Marveling that I could somehow forget that the heaviness of summer heat and humidity would be replaced by the lightness of a cool sunny day.
Marveling that we are there already, at that point in the year where we can feel the season changing.
Heat to cool.
Heavy to light.
Summer to fall.
And I had forgotten.
But here we are. The first hints of the joy to come already showing up around me.
And I as I sat breathing in the cool, light air around me, I felt a whisper in my heart that I’ve come to learn as His voice.
”Don’t forget what’s coming.”
Don’t forget what’s coming.
This season of life has been so long. It’s felt like the summer, hot and smothering and heavy, and to be honest, I’ve found myself forgetting. Forgetting that the season will change. Forgetting that although God allows us to walk through the valley, He will also lead us beside still waters. He will also restore our souls.
"Don’t forget what’s coming,” He whispered.
And to be honest, I can barely remember what a season of freedom in certain areas of life feels like, because this season has been long. So very long.
But I know Whom I believe. Whether I remember what a change in season feels like or not, I will trust what He says.
This year, as our environmental season shifts around me, I have a whole new reason for hope. Hope that this season of the soul is shifting too.
by Alesha Sinks | Oct 18, 2018 | Just Me
I sat on the park bench watching.
Watching my husband chase our three year old up and down the ramps and slides.
Watching our one year old climb up and down the slide.
Watching older kids run past shouting and laughing.
Watching the overcast sky fade from pale grey to dark gray.
The breeze was light, but just cool enough to feel that first hint of fall.
Fall.
<img src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/55c38a57e4b00989028332c9/1539889710948-53U6H7OHR2EQN7RZJH4A/ke17ZwdGBToddI8pDm48kNPKVmbt05aEWnErXou3fDl7gQa3H78H3Y0txjaiv_0fDoOvxcdMmMKkDsyUqMSsMWxHk725yiiHCCLfrh8O1z4YTzHvnKhyp6Da-NYroOW3ZGjoBKy3azqku80C789l0tb-hnCqoepq4X8c1traqO_6-8vaS3UGENu9QP5pfFlLbyLeIY6QzmBTG9h7XCKkkQ/IMG_0515.JPG?format=original" alt=""/>
I looked around, feeling that warm-but-not-hot air and the ever-so-slightly-cool breeze winding around me. I had forgotten.
In the long, hot months of Florida summer, I had forgotten that another season would come. And I had forgotten how wonderful it is when it does.
I sat there silently marveling.
Marveling that somehow I could forget that summer would be over and the heat would fade and we could go outside in the evening into the most perfect weather.
Marveling that I could somehow forget that the heaviness of summer heat and humidity would be replaced by the lightness of a cool sunny day.
Marveling that we are there already, at that point in the year where we can feel the season changing.
Heat to cool.
Heavy to light.
Summer to fall.
And I had forgotten.
But here we are. The first hints of the joy to come already showing up around me.
And I as I sat breathing in the cool, light air around me, I felt a whisper in my heart that I’ve come to learn as His voice.
”Don’t forget what’s coming.”
Don’t forget what’s coming.
This season of life has been so long. It’s felt like the summer, hot and smothering and heavy, and to be honest, I’ve found myself forgetting. Forgetting that the season will change. Forgetting that although God allows us to walk through the valley, He will also lead us beside still waters. He will also restore our souls.
"Don’t forget what’s coming,” He whispered.
And to be honest, I can barely remember what a season of freedom in certain areas of life feels like, because this season has been long. So very long.
But I know Whom I believe. Whether I remember what a change in season feels like or not, I will trust what He says.
This year, as our environmental season shifts around me, I have a whole new reason for hope. Hope that this season of the soul is shifting too.
by Travis | Feb 10, 2017 | Family, Just Me
I stood on the threshold of her kitchen and said again how I feel like the trial of this year is the same one we’ve gone through five times before. And it’s getting exhausting.
A few days later, I was standing, hands all sudsy in my own kitchen sink, glancing over a text from her, completely unrelated, but it pointed my mind back toward that night.
“How many times have we gone through this, really?” I wondered to myself.
And I began to count backward.
…right now, new business still too new to fully support our family which is growing by one…
…this past summer, starting a new business…
…two summers ago, quitting my husbands part time job two weeks before our son was born…
…the year before that, starting a different business one month before we found out I was pregnant…
…and the year before that, moving across the country with no jobs and no home and only the knowledge that this was where God wanted us…
…and again, the year before that, getting married one week out of college and trying to get a job and a home before graduation…
…finally, ten months prior to our wedding day…the frustration and fear…kneeling on the floor of my parents living room…the phone call…that overwhelming awe at God’s answer, His provision…
And as I counted back, I hesitated to count those earliest two memories. They seemed so simple, so small compared to where we are today. Even the move to Florida seemed almost too small for the list. But that thought, from a reasonable perspective is laughable. Of course they count! They just feel small now, compared to the depths God has brought us to.
….
That first memory, the memory of that day Travis called from college, down to just a few dollars in his bank account due to a shiny new ring on my finger, to tell me that none of his references were returning her call and she never hires without references, was burning into my mind. I remember so plainly the fear and frustration I felt. Even more plainly, I remember kneeling down in front of my parents brown leather couch to pray, pouring out my heart and frustration, begging God to work.
I hadn’t yet finished when my phone rang again. While I was still on my knees, she had called him back and hired him, against her own policy, without any references.
I was shocked. I was awed.
That God would answer so quickly and completely, amazed me. I was ecstatic.
….
And the memory of that day burned strong as my hand swirled a soapy dishcloth across sticky plates and silverware. But something else burned strong in my mind along with the memory: awe and gratitude.
Because there is a pattern to our lives that we would be foolish to overlook. There is a theme to the how and what and where God is taking us. And as that memory from six years ago played again and again in my mind, I realized how deeply kind God is.
The stakes were so small back then. The real risk we were facing was so little, but in that moment it felt like our whole world.
Now, over six years, one move, and one child and one-on-the-way later, the stakes seem so much higher. The risks of following God, the risks of obeying, feel so much greater.
But the truth is, God power is the same today as it was six years ago.
His grace and provision is just much at work on our behalf today as it was that day kneeling in front of the brown couch.
And the often repeated saying echos in my mind.
“God will not guide where He will not provide.”
He will not take us somewhere that He will not take us through.
He will not call us to a task that He will not provide the ability for us to accomplish.
He will not direct us to a place where He will not be with us.
He will not call us to a mission that He will not empower us for.
He is not going to leave us alone or stranded or hopeless. He is not going to forget us or abandon us or fail us.
Even when it feels like we are running in circles or spinning our wheels or hopelessly stuck, He knows. He is with us. He will provide.
He knows. He is with us. He will provide.
And yet, in all this I must remember…
He cares as much about the process as He does the destination.
To get me from A to C, He might not go through B. He might take me up and around and off to the side and what feels like backward for a long while, because what He desires to accomplish in and through me along the way is just as important to Him as the final destination.
Let me say that again. Because, oh! My own heart needs this reminder so often.
What He desires to accomplish in and through me along the way is just as important to Him as the final destination.
As I look back on the past six and some years, I realize how very tenderly gracious He has been.
He has taken me through the same set of fears, the same struggle to trust, the same hard spot in life, over and over again, not to prepare me for some ultimate test, but rather to draw me closer and closer to Him.
He keeps allowing the stakes to rise, the situations to feel more desperate, so that each time, my faith is stretched a little further and I learn to rest my hope on Him a little more fully.
Be blessed
by Travis | Feb 10, 2017 | Family, Just Me
I stood on the threshold of her kitchen and said again how I feel like the trial of this year is the same one we’ve gone through five times before. And it’s getting exhausting.
A few days later, I was standing, hands all sudsy in my own kitchen sink, glancing over a text from her, completely unrelated, but it pointed my mind back toward that night.
“How many times have we gone through this, really?” I wondered to myself.
And I began to count backward.
…right now, new business still too new to fully support our family which is growing by one…
…this past summer, starting a new business…
…two summers ago, quitting my husbands part time job two weeks before our son was born…
…the year before that, starting a different business one month before we found out I was pregnant…
…and the year before that, moving across the country with no jobs and no home and only the knowledge that this was where God wanted us…
…and again, the year before that, getting married one week out of college and trying to get a job and a home before graduation…
…finally, ten months prior to our wedding day…the frustration and fear…kneeling on the floor of my parents living room…the phone call…that overwhelming awe at God’s answer, His provision…
And as I counted back, I hesitated to count those earliest two memories. They seemed so simple, so small compared to where we are today. Even the move to Florida seemed almost too small for the list. But that thought, from a reasonable perspective is laughable. Of course they count! They just feel small now, compared to the depths God has brought us to.
….
That first memory, the memory of that day Travis called from college, down to just a few dollars in his bank account due to a shiny new ring on my finger, to tell me that none of his references were returning her call and she never hires without references, was burning into my mind. I remember so plainly the fear and frustration I felt. Even more plainly, I remember kneeling down in front of my parents brown leather couch to pray, pouring out my heart and frustration, begging God to work.
I hadn’t yet finished when my phone rang again. While I was still on my knees, she had called him back and hired him, against her own policy, without any references.
I was shocked. I was awed.
That God would answer so quickly and completely, amazed me. I was ecstatic.
….
And the memory of that day burned strong as my hand swirled a soapy dishcloth across sticky plates and silverware. But something else burned strong in my mind along with the memory: awe and gratitude.
Because there is a pattern to our lives that we would be foolish to overlook. There is a theme to the how and what and where God is taking us. And as that memory from six years ago played again and again in my mind, I realized how deeply kind God is.
The stakes were so small back then. The real risk we were facing was so little, but in that moment it felt like our whole world.
Now, over six years, one move, and one child and one-on-the-way later, the stakes seem so much higher. The risks of following God, the risks of obeying, feel so much greater.
But the truth is, God power is the same today as it was six years ago.
His grace and provision is just much at work on our behalf today as it was that day kneeling in front of the brown couch.
And the often repeated saying echos in my mind.
“God will not guide where He will not provide.”
He will not take us somewhere that He will not take us through.
He will not call us to a task that He will not provide the ability for us to accomplish.
He will not direct us to a place where He will not be with us.
He will not call us to a mission that He will not empower us for.
He is not going to leave us alone or stranded or hopeless. He is not going to forget us or abandon us or fail us.
Even when it feels like we are running in circles or spinning our wheels or hopelessly stuck, He knows. He is with us. He will provide.
He knows. He is with us. He will provide.
And yet, in all this I must remember…
He cares as much about the process as He does the destination.
To get me from A to C, He might not go through B. He might take me up and around and off to the side and what feels like backward for a long while, because what He desires to accomplish in and through me along the way is just as important to Him as the final destination.
Let me say that again. Because, oh! My own heart needs this reminder so often.
What He desires to accomplish in and through me along the way is just as important to Him as the final destination.
As I look back on the past six and some years, I realize how very tenderly gracious He has been.
He has taken me through the same set of fears, the same struggle to trust, the same hard spot in life, over and over again, not to prepare me for some ultimate test, but rather to draw me closer and closer to Him.
He keeps allowing the stakes to rise, the situations to feel more desperate, so that each time, my faith is stretched a little further and I learn to rest my hope on Him a little more fully.
Be blessed
by Alesha Sinks | May 24, 2016 | Just Me
After several months of weighty things happening and big feelings ensuing, I found myself almost constantly heavy. My soul was crying for a break, a reprieve from the weightiness of it all.
Taking stock of my heart and my time, I found two things that helped tremendously:
<img src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/55c38a57e4b00989028332c9/1464313276270-S7RF9KEMLNOALL77IC7M/ke17ZwdGBToddI8pDm48kJyg-3QWpsc7z2TxaFusqoBZw-zPPgdn4jUwVcJE1ZvWULTKcsloFGhpbD8VGAmRSUJFbgE-7XRK3dMEBRBhUpzs4MwgFC1joNTJpf5yUfff3JwANPsqeDbDTuUGkso0bYOevLSw995ec3mSZDAH3FI/image.jpg?format=original" alt=""/>
First, God’s Word.
When I slowed myself and made seeking Jesus a priority, I could feel fresh life flowing into my soul. The problem was, so often I found myself coming to church and my Bible and prayer seeking knowledge or validation or holiness, instead of relationship.
Relationship with Jesus, through church and the Bible and prayer and community, is life and sustenance for your soul.
Second, laughter.
I couldn’t sit through two minutes of a serious movie or emotional book. My heart was too overwhelmed already to handle any emotions or weight beyond those already in my real life. But when I laughed, the weight was lifted a bit.
There is a holiness in laughter. A freedom that reminds us there is good and joy and peace in this world and it is a gift from God.
Because laughter, paired with a deep and trusting relationship with God, brings freedom.
It reminds us that the weight of the world isn’t all on us.
…that life isn’t all deep and serious.
…that good and wholesome does exist.
…that this deep weightiness is a season.
…that God created good and laughter and fun and expects us to enjoy them!
So I’ve watched tv shows and read books and had conversations that have made me smile and giggle and laugh and it’s been good…mostly.
Because laughter as a gift is soul-filling and life-giving. But laughter as escape or distraction is never as enriching. It always the same.
Anything we turn to for distraction or escape will in the end never prove the soul-filling and life-giving reprieve we truly need.
If I truly want to be refreshed and restored, in the good times or in the difficult, I must first be filled by Christ. But once my heart is settled on Him and my mind is stayed in His truth, laughter becomes a glorious gift.
So laugh.
Laugh hard and often and free. Laugh long and loud and let yourself cry and snort and be laughed at in the process. Receive laughter as a gift and give it as a blessing.
Be blessed
