Prompt: The Words You Always Wanted to Say to Him/Her But Never Did
I never wanted you To be my friend. I wanted you to be his. Because I care more about him Than I care about Myself
Maybe I’m wrong, But I think the same temptations hold us close I see things in you Pressing, begging, rearing to come out in me And I’m running hard I pray maybe you will start running soon too Or that maybe, I am just wrong about you
It’s okay to not be perfect It’s okay to not have it all figured out I like you better that way, anyways Let’s be broken together I’ll hold your pieces You hold mine If I get cut, it’s okay. Because we’ll be together.
I cared what you thought So when you chose them I suddenly felt caught In my childish naivety Why would I have ever thought You’d choose me? That day life taught Me a lesson I’d spend the rest of it unlearning
You can’t see it, girl But you’re so very loved. And there’s not one single person You will meet in this whole, beautiful life Who will be enough to love you As much as you already are.
If you feel inspired, try out this prompt too. You don’t have to consider yourself a writer to write. And I’d love to read what you come up with. Or keep it private.
This was a sad and beautiful and helpful exercise for me to do and maybe it will be the same for you.
The 100 Day Project is a creativity challenge. Many people do this on their own, and some as part of a group. There is a large community of people that I will be joining to complete the challenge beginning April 2nd and finishing July 10th.
If you follow my Instagram (@aleshablessed), you may remember that I participated last year. I did 100 days of storytelling, with the goal of telling short stories about my life everyday, in order to grow and explore my storytelling ability.
Although I stopped participating in the challenge around day 50, and I didn’t even complete every day up until then, I loved it. I felt my confidence, and I think, my skill grow throughout the challenge.
This year, I am taking on the challenge again, with the goal of finishing…not completing every day. But keeping on until the end. And my creative goal?
100 Days of Poetry
I plan to write a poem every day for 100 days, about whatever I want.
I have been writing poems since elementary school. I used to carry one of those tiny composition notebooks around so that I could spend the minutes waiting and the minutes in the car scribbling down tiny poems about cows and trees and whatever else ten-year-old Alesha thought about.
I’ve always thought my writing somewhat reflected that poetic bent from my childhood. But lately, I’ve wanted to lean in to that a bit.
And I wanted to write and actually share it again. Regularly.
If you want to follow along, you can join me on Instagram or wait and see the poetry “round ups” I post on here.
I hope, maybe, the poetry will inspire something in you. A reflection. An emotion. A prayer. A poem of your own.
I’m going to try to write more than just poems for the next four months, but even if I don’t write anything else, I am praying that the poems do the same thing all of my words are intended to do…
to reset your perspective with truth.
What is something you were obsessed with as a child that you would love to revisit? Why not?
I think one of the most important things we can do this time of year is to look back to both celebrate and reflect. And while I think it is important, it is hard for me to do. I want to charge forward into the planning and the new and the growth. But new growth will never be as effective if you haven’t first reflected on where you are coming from in order to see most clearly where you need to go.
So I’m taking a bit of time on here to celebrate and reflect. I hope you enjoy it.
April: With my birthday and Easter and a whirlwind trip to Washington State this month was crazy, and I was preaching hard to my heart! I began to fully see light at the end of a long winter in my heart.
August: This month I wrote one of my favorite additions to my “Church Planting Is” series. And this month I finally hit the point of feeling fully free from the fears that dominated so much of my winter and spring, and I poured those truths that had helped me so much out over and over. The end of August we spent back in Washington again for our friends’ wedding and to see family. It was a wonderful summer finale.
October: I did it again…write for 32 days that is. I almost broke down near the end of the month, asking God why He had asked me to write about something that I still struggled with so much. I wrote about my goal, my theme, for the year: Work Hard + Rest Well
November: November was a blur for me. I started the month full of energy and excited to post about other things, including what is probably one of my all-time favorite posts I’ve written. But toward the end of the month, I just got exhausted…and I wouldn’t find out why till a week before Christmas. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with our church family, and I finished up the month with my Black Friday Thankful List.
December: I started this month tired, and with a scary and exciting announcement. My husband is starting a business! Exhaustion was fogging my brain and I was desperately trying to enjoy the Christmas season. Then I got really honest, twice, right around the time I found out why I had been so tired. Yep! We’re having a baby. Next August, and we are thrilled…and I’m learning to rest a little more.
I am so excited that by the end of 2015 we will be a family of three and for all the changes that will come in that process. However, we appreciate your prayers for health and for God to prosper our business and work things out financially by the time little Baby Sinks arrives.
There is something about looking back that has captured my heart in the past week.The new year came and I fought the looking back, the remembering. I know what happened in my life, why rehash it? Why focus on what’s done. Then this. And this.
Slowly my heart softened to listen to wise voices calling me to slow down. Telling me to think and reflect before launching into the new. And the goals are slowly forming in my heart and planner.
Before I share the goals and the surging forward and the pressing in hard with you, join me in reflecting…in celebrating all God has done in and through me and my husband this year. May His glory shine through greatly.
March was quiet on here. Because my grandma passed away, my mother came to Florida to visit and my friend had her first baby girl in a period of 24 hours. Because I was pondering my home…my new home…my new life.
April I turned 22 and had a sweet simple birthday with friends. Easter service was incredible! A reminder that He rose to bring hope and life and peace and I began to see His provision more clearly.
May came with a much needed time of refreshment and our two year wedding anniversary. And much reflecting on all the little moments that make life special and busy.
June was our first visit back to Washington. And I recorded a long vlog for the one year anniversary of She Reads Truth.
Our cold snap happened over Thanksgiving.It was 68… And perfect.
Yet now it’s in the low 80s again and I’m jealous of all the crazy, gorgeous snow pictures filling up my Instagram feed. After a week of my whining, the sun is finally back out and I’m feeling sweaty.
And contentment never just happens. And I’m reminding myself probably 20 times a day how miserable the cold makes me and what a blessing it is to be here, but my heart doesn’t always want to listen to my brain.
So I’ll dream with a eggnog latte in my hand and Christmas decorations in blue and silver. And I’ll live vicariously through your Instagrams and thank hard for sunshine and warmth and the ability to test different deodorants till I find one that at least keeps me from stinking.
Because sometimes thanking is hard… Not because the words are hard. Not because there is nothing to thank for. Not because I’m not happy. But because I have to lay me down. I have to lay down my wants and wishes and selfishness. Because my selfishness is a comfortable place to hang out sometimes. Because I have to let Him into a place of my heart that I don’t want to admit is ugly.
And I know in that moment and decision of thanksgiving that I must make up my mind to have my heart changed. In that moment, I must admit that my heart needs changing.
I know that in my offering of thanks, He will gently reorder my heart away from the self-pitying and self-centered place it is currently residing. And I know that is a beautiful thing. But to get to the beautiful, I have to first recognize the ugly…and that’s where the hard lies. So I’m praying that He gives me the strength and humility to keep admitting the ugly and allowing His Spirit to change it.
So enjoy with me some beauty via my Instagram feed and let’s make the hard decision to thank…in whatever place of life you’re feeling discontent today.