The wonder and excitement in his little eyes was magical. I’ve taken him down the Avenue three times already. Three times to see my favorite sparkling Christmas decoration that our city puts up. Three times in the mere week since the decorations began to slowly appear.
I love lights. I love people out and about. I love the expectation in the air. I love the sense of everyone in this together. I love the excuse to bake to my hearts content. I love push to slow down. Yes.
Each Christmas season I feel a push to slow down.
This season to so many is a season of speeding up…of rushing and hurrying and doing. But to me it’s always been a season of slowing down in the midst of rush.
It’s a season of slowing your mind and quieting your heart to bask in the awe and wonder of the season and the weight and glory of God with us.
It’s been a long and wonderful year of motherhood. But also, a long year of struggling to do just that. Struggling to slow my mind and quiet my heart.
I need the push of this season to slow down and enjoy my life. I’m working to get back to that place of joy and gratitude by starting with thanks. I’ve been listening Ann Voskamp’s book ‘1000 Gifts’ and oh, is it ever what my heart needs…again. Three years later and I’m realizing just how quickly my heart forgets lessons learned.
As I walked, pushing James in the little umbrella stroller, admiring the Christmas decorations and watching the people walking by, these words played into my headphones.
“I only deepen the wound of the world when I neglect to give thanks.” Ann Voskamp
I’ve felt so much weight on my soul these past months. Weight of suffering and injustice and pain of the world. Weight that I know is far lighter than the weight of those living under the crush of these sorrows. And I’ve wondered if I even should allow myself to be happy or thankful for all I have been given, when others are living stripped so bare.
“I only deepen the wound of the world when I neglect to give thanks.” Ann Voskamp
Balm to my questioning soul.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” James 1:17
Yes, we mourn with those who mourn, but we also recognize and give thanks for every good gift God gives, no matter how small the gift. Because when we refuse to live thankful, we trivialize the brokenness in this world. We minimize pain by refusing to recognize good for what it truly is, a gift from God’s hand.
We can and should weep with those who weep, but if we do not also rejoice with those who rejoice, rejoicing in who God is and in His goodness to us, we will never fully bring Him the glory we were intended to.
This moment tonight, my little boy’s eyes catching the sparkle of the Christmas lights, and the many precious moments I hope will come this holiday season, I want to receive them fully aware and fully thankful and fully joyful.
I want to receive the moments that are given me fully awake to the gift from God that they are.
I don’t want to live blind and rushed and anxious through my life. And what better time to start this journey than today? What better season than Christmas, when the reminders to receive joy and give thanks are literally written on million napkins and t-shirts and coffee mugs and billboards everywhere I look.
After several months of weighty things happening and big feelings ensuing, I found myself almost constantly heavy. My soul was crying for a break, a reprieve from the weightiness of it all.
Taking stock of my heart and my time, I found two things that helped tremendously:
When I slowed myself and made seeking Jesus a priority, I could feel fresh life flowing into my soul. The problem was, so often I found myself coming to church and my Bible and prayer seeking knowledge or validation or holiness, instead of relationship.
Relationship with Jesus, through church and the Bible and prayer and community, is life and sustenance for your soul.
Second, laughter.
I couldn’t sit through two minutes of a serious movie or emotional book. My heart was too overwhelmed already to handle any emotions or weight beyond those already in my real life. But when I laughed, the weight was lifted a bit.
There is a holiness in laughter. A freedom that reminds us there is good and joy and peace in this world and it is a gift from God.
Because laughter, paired with a deep and trusting relationship with God, brings freedom.
It reminds us that the weight of the world isn’t all on us.
…that life isn’t all deep and serious.
…that good and wholesome does exist.
…that this deep weightiness is a season.
…that God created good and laughter and fun and expects us to enjoy them!
So I’ve watched tv shows and read books and had conversations that have made me smile and giggle and laugh and it’s been good…mostly.
Because laughter as a gift is soul-filling and life-giving. But laughter as escape or distraction is never as enriching. It always the same.
Anything we turn to for distraction or escape will in the end never prove the soul-filling and life-giving reprieve we truly need.
If I truly want to be refreshed and restored, in the good times or in the difficult, I must first be filled by Christ. But once my heart is settled on Him and my mind is stayed in His truth, laughter becomes a glorious gift.
So laugh. Laugh hard and often and free. Laugh long and loud and let yourself cry and snort and be laughed at in the process. Receive laughter as a gift and give it as a blessing.
Two weeks ago we celebrated four years of marriage.Four years together as one. Four years of love and joy and tears and hopes and struggles and new adventures and deep familiarity being born.
A couple from our church generously allowed us to stay in their luxury, oceanside condo for two nights to celebrate, and I was so excited. But it took me awhile to get there…
I am a doer…a planner. I don’t want to waste time and opportunities.
I knew that this trip was an incredible opportunity for us to get away together…and I didn’t want to waste it.
So I stressed about what we would do, how we would enjoy it, where we would go, what we would see, and on and on. Until it hit me, somewhere in the two weeks leading up to our mini-vacation…
We didn’t need to go and do and see and experience to make this trip perfect, to make it worth it. We needed to simply be.
Life right now is busy…crazy busy and often emotionally hard, not to mention the whole range feelings that come with preparing for a baby. So although I thought I wanted to sightsee and eat out and do a fun day trip and plan an awesome activity, I somehow realized that what we really needed was space to simply be together and rest.
We needed space to rest physically and emotionally. We needed space to spiritually refresh. We needed space to focus on each other. We needed space to do nothing. We needed space to rest from our work and our busy.
And every time someone asked what our plans were for our anniversary trip, I felt a little silly saying that we were just going to do nothing for two days.
But there is nothing silly about taking the time let your soul breathe.
I fought to ignore the lie that we needed to do in order to make memories and I reminded myself that it is good to take the time to simply be.
So I planned and prepped delicious meals that would make our trip special without taking a lot of work, and we each packed our swim suits and a couple of books and that was it. We spent the days reading, talking, napping, taking slow walks, talking long and deep, eating too much dessert, and watching tv together…and we didn’t even use our bathing suits.
And it was wonderful.
Maybe you’re like me…a doer. Maybe you’re afraid of wasting time and opportunities. Maybe you’re working yourself up trying to do something to relax, when really just need to do…nothing.
And different seasons of life require different things, but maybe, like me, you need to let go of doing in order to rest for an hour or a day or two days or a week.
Give yourself the permission and give your soul the space to simply be. You will not regret it.
I was sitting Monday night in a room full of people I love. A lull in the conversation brought the soft Christmas carols playing in the background to my ears. And the words caught my mind and heart in a new way…
Let every heart, prepare Him room
And my heart breathed deep in attention.
Prepare Him room
In the midst of the craziness… In the midst of the busy… In the midst of the rushing… In the midst of the gifts and the cards and the wrapping paper and the caroling and the parties and the bustle…
In the midst of it all, prepare Him room.
Because the miracle of Christmas is God with us, but how can He be with us if we won’t make room for Him?
He won’t push in. He won’t break down doors. He won’t force Himself into our hearts or schedules.
We have to make room for Him.
As husband and wife we’re reading a daily advent devotional plan together. I think we’ve been trying to catch up since day five. And there’ve been too many days were I’ve spent more time stressing about my todo list than enjoying the Gift of the season.
There’s all sorts of excuses and it’s easy to feel like a failure when you’re failing more days than you’re succeeding. But the miracle of Christmas is a miracle of grace. And grace doesn’t end when you fail. And Grace never fails.
So I’m breathing deep of grace when I fail over and over to prepare Him room and allowing each moment to be a new start, a fresh grace.
And that’s the key to a successful Christmas season I think: breathing in grace and loosing track of the do-overs and the restarts, because it doesn’t matter how many times you fail, it simply matters what you’re doing right now.
Let’s prepare Him room in our hearts and our schedules this season and let’s not be discouraged when it feels like fighting a loosing battle. It doesn’t matter how many times you fail, it matters what you are doing right now.
I was sitting Monday night in a room full of people I love. A lull in the conversation brought the soft Christmas carols playing in the background to my ears. And the words caught my mind and heart in a new way…
Let every heart, prepare Him room
And my heart breathed deep in attention.
Prepare Him room
In the midst of the craziness… In the midst of the busy… In the midst of the rushing… In the midst of the gifts and the cards and the wrapping paper and the caroling and the parties and the bustle…
In the midst of it all, prepare Him room.
Because the miracle of Christmas is God with us, but how can He be with us if we won’t make room for Him?
He won’t push in. He won’t break down doors. He won’t force Himself into our hearts or schedules.
We have to make room for Him.
As husband and wife we’re reading a daily advent devotional plan together. I think we’ve been trying to catch up since day five. And there’ve been too many days were I’ve spent more time stressing about my todo list than enjoying the Gift of the season.
There’s all sorts of excuses and it’s easy to feel like a failure when you’re failing more days than you’re succeeding. But the miracle of Christmas is a miracle of grace. And grace doesn’t end when you fail. And Grace never fails.
So I’m breathing deep of grace when I fail over and over to prepare Him room and allowing each moment to be a new start, a fresh grace.
And that’s the key to a successful Christmas season I think: breathing in grace and loosing track of the do-overs and the restarts, because it doesn’t matter how many times you fail, it simply matters what you’re doing right now.
Let’s prepare Him room in our hearts and our schedules this season and let’s not be discouraged when it feels like fighting a loosing battle. It doesn’t matter how many times you fail, it matters what you are doing right now.
