I get really deep into my own thoughts sometimes. It’s good for me, and I come out of it filled up with thoughts and words and ideas that I want to share with the world. The struggle starts when I begin to think that all these deep thoughts and all the words just busting out of me somehow make me wiser and better than others…when I think that I deserve to have others listening to me.
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The time spent pondering life and truth is a waste if it leaves me thinking more about my own wisdom than about God’s greatness.
“Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.”
This verse send chills down my spine.
It quickly uncovers so much ugliness in my own heart.
I realize the problem isn’t that I have words to say and thoughts to share. The problem is that I assume the those thoughts and words are of any value aside from the grace of God.
Any words of lasting value that I speak are a gift from God.
Over and over, I have caught myself thinking that I am so wise for the words and lessons I share, forgetting that the reason I am sharing them is because they are a lesson I just learned. And often, they are a lesson that I am far from done learning.
“Better was a poor and wise youth than an old and foolish king who no longer knew how to take advice.”
I don’t have all the answers.
I need to learn even more than I need to speak.
I am wise when I humble myself to learn…even more when I seek out wise counsel.
And my tendency is to feel this weight of conviction on my heart and to just shut up. No more writing. No more sharing. No more outpouring. But that is not how God designed us to live.
In Jesus, I can learn to pour out words and thoughts and ideas while humbly recognizing that those lessons are a gift from God. It is a gift to have learned these things and it is a gift to be able to share them.
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So each time I read this verse, I find myself desperately begging God for wisdom and humility. I don’t want to be a fool.