“So today I was just thinking about the fact how nowhere in the Bible do we ever see Jesus rushing.”
I think my heart skipped a few beats from shock. Had somehow this wonderful godly man seen into my crazy rushing heart? Had he seen the constant turmoil in my heart and mind?

…

I can’t even pinpoint how long I’ve struggled with anxiety. Not the medical kind where you can’t breathe and your stomach knots and your whole body seems to fight you at once. The emotional kind. The spiritual kind.

Slowly, over the past 6 (maybe 7 or 8) years each passing day has brought some form of urgency to my heart. There is always something more to be done, that next thing to be accomplished till I’m living my days with knots in my neck and knots in my stomach and all life is passing by in a blur of breath-holding anxiety.

And it’s never about the moment I’m in, it’s always about the moment that’s ahead.

…

He went on, “You’ve probably heard this idea before from different pastors, but I’ve just been thinking about what that means that Jesus never rushed. I mean, He was still busy, really busy, but He didn’t rush. It’s not bad to be busy, but is it bad to rush?”

And my mind went reeling. I couldn’t remember ever hearing that before, but my heart was in too much shock to say anything. I listened…I learned…I pondered.

…

I know that Jesus is always perfectly present and in tune with our hearts and lives. It’s a characteristic that I marvel at. Even some of my most joyful moments have been tainted by my worry that I won’t enjoy the moment to the fullest and the next moment will come before I’ve enjoyed the one I’m in…

And He is fully present and yet He ever sees the bigger picture of eternity. Or maybe because He sees the bigger picture, it allows Him to be fully present in the moment…
Maybe, if my eyes were ever fixed on our greater hope of glory, then my heart could live in freedom that each moment has a beautiful weight of purpose and yet is but a passing breath of air to be breathed for His glory.

…

And the past few days, I’ve pondered. If Jesus never rushed, then why should I? He lives in me and is working through me and surely He doesn’t need my rushing to accomplish His eternal purpose.

The past two days, there has been freedom. I’ve breathed in full and free and I’ve piled grace upon grace on my heart. And my rushing has slowed and my frantic work is loosing a bit of it frantic urgency. And His grace is enough for this rushed and frantic heart.

Be blessed
<3

{This post is part of my 31 day series called “Breathe” that I am linking up with The Nester for this October writing project}