I felt it in my stomach, then my chest, and then my throat, those all to familiar signals. My stress reactions.Sore stomach muscles
Lump in throat
I didn’t even know why I was stressed…what I was worried about. So I ignored the symptoms. And I might have moved on but the achy symptoms stayed, subtly nagging at the corners of my consciousness.
And I grabbed the laptop to write, but I didn’t know how to share words of life out a life clenched tight. So I glanced out the window and noticed that it had started to rain…hard giants drops of water almost unhindered on their earthward descent.
I stared and prayed.
“God why am I stressed. What is causing me to stretch so tight mentally that my body is physically clenching up.”
And I began to list the fears, the worries.
One by one, laying them out before Him.
Worries I didn’t know were there suddenly found their name.
With each anxiety added to the list my heart was nodding in recognition.
“I knew that one was there…and that one…and that one. I just didn’t see them. I didn’t see what they were doing to me.”
Afraid of not having words to write
Afraid of not being a consistent enough blogger
Afraid of not getting everything done
Afraid of not being productive enough
Afraid of not loving my husband well
Afraid of not being a good housekeeper
Afraid of not living in the purpose God has for me
Afraid of not being organized enough
Afraid of not serving enough
Afraid of not living up to what I should
Afraid of not enough…that I am not enough.
And as I watch the subtle gusts and burst of the storm raging outside my window, He is whispering into the storm of my heart, “You are enough…because of Jesus.”
Because He was enough for my past and He is enough for my present and He will be enough for my future.
As I stepped into the realization of the fears that were weighing on me, as I counted and named my worries, I began to see them in a different light. I began to see my worries in light of His sufficiency.
He loves me in spite of my success or failure in of any of the things on this list. And He has promised to work in me for my good and His glory. No matter how valid my concerns in any of these areas, on my own I will never be enough.
Planning and working and seeking out growth is good, but I must realize that the fruit and growth come from Him alone. So as I step goals and make plans and work hard and prayerfully evaluate my life, I must not ever think that the results of my efforts are up to me.
I am already enough.
I am already loved.
God is already working in me.
God will complete the work He started.
And as I bask in the light of these truths, the worry melts away. My todo list might stay the same and my goals might remain unchanged, but my worth is no longer bound up in those things.
So I challenge you, if you are feeling a steady crush of worry or anxiety, take a few minutes to settle your heart in His presence.
Speak truth into your own worries:
1. Sit still.
2. Pray for clarity, for freedom.
3. Name your worries. And as you name them…
4. Name the truth that sets you free from the bondage of worry.
See your worries in the light of God’s sufficiency.