“But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.”Hebrews 11:6
I’ve been finding my Mondays starting slow this year.
…starting with extra time curled up on the couch with my bible, my prayer journal, and my iPad with a reading plan, or two…with my planner, with an old, trusty mechanical pencil, and with an artistically printed scripture card to memorize.
Maybe I’ve been missing part of the rest my weekend should be…
Or maybe my true rest day (Friday) is two days past and after the pouring out of Sunday, my heart just desperately needs a little extra space to breathe Him in again.
And my heart pounds hard and worried as I look at the clock and realize it’s 10 and I’ve yet to start on my to do list. My early-bird, morning-loving self panics a bit when I add up what I’ve done with the hours.
The long slow run, feet pounding the pavement slow and steady and God’s Word pounding in to my ears and heart through the voice of a preacher.
Then lazy, painful stretching of tired muscles, making my bed, washing the stink and sweat in the blasting heat of the shower…and I’m desperate for more, so I turn on another sermon and listen to His truth poured out, uncovered for my heart to receive.
My logic would say that my day has started to slow to be redeemed and that I’ll never get even close with my to do list now.
Then the clock ticks faster and I’ve eaten two eggs scrambled and my hair is still tumbling down my back, wet and uncombed. And I’m not wearing makeup and there’s books and a pencil and little square papers with verse written out strewn about the couch and an hour and half has ticked by and I’m wondering if I should let it keep ticking on…I’m wanting more.
But a voice whispers soft, “You’ve been filled up, now it’s time to pour out.”
And I wonder if maybe this is what was meant by the call to lean in…to press in hard to Jesus. To press in to His Word.
So my fingers fly across the keyboard, sometimes fast and free sometimes hesitant and slow. And my heart knows that this writing lines and truth is a form of pouring out, but it’s not the only form of pouring out I’m called to.
The minute I finish putting thoughts into words there will be a friend to text and encourage, a person knocking at my door to love, a stranger passing my on the street to smile at, my husband to love and serve.
I’ve leaned into His Word and no matter how my heart is feeling I can trust that He’s filling me with His Spirit so that I can pour out glory back to Him.
So my Mondays are starting slow and my A-type mind is screaming logic, but deep down there’s peace. Peace that His purpose can only be unfolded through me if I take the time to fill up with Him. Peace that He has promised to fill me up if I lean in to Him, to His Word.
Peace that can only come from starting the day, the week, filled up with Truth.
And I’m praying hard that He gives the time and space and energy to accomplish the to do list anyways, knowing that He is faithful and the rewarder of those who seek Him.