“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.”Proverbs 3:5
…with all your heart.
…with all your heart.
And I feel my heart sinking and my breath catching hard inside me. In order to trust Him with all my heart, I have to have a whole heart, a unified heart. My heart must be one.
But my heart usually feels like it’s heading in a million different directions, and trying to keep my heart in one place is like trying to carry a giant load of laundry from the little laundry shed in the back and up the shared staircase to our apartment. I keep dropping pieces here and there, praying that my undergarments don’t end up sitting in the sun for all the neighbors to see.
And the pieces of my heart keep pulling and tugging every direction of the wind and my mind is worn out with trying to wrestle them away from the thoughts and desires grasping. With my heart pulling in so many opposite directions, how can I possibly trust God with all my heart? How can I have a whole heart to trust Him with?
And His voice whispered into the quiet heavy of my heart.
“Point your heart towards Jesus.
Set your heart on Jesus.
Don’t just ‘follow’ Jesus.
Don’t just ‘serve’ Jesus.
Don’t just ‘point’ others toward Jesus.
I breathe out heavy as He breathes life into me.
Just love Jesus.
Just look at Him and be enamored of Him and fall in love with Him every day. The following and the serving and pointing will come, but I just need Him.
To love Him
To know Him
To enjoy Him
As the burden lifts and my heart breathes free and I know that if my heart is so wrapped up in loving Him, then I don’t have to worry about it pulling different places. The struggle isn’t to keep gathering up the pieces of my heart and forcing them back into line; the struggle is to set my heart on Him, to love Him so completely that everything else naturally falls into line. Love Him first and my heart will be one. Not make my heart one, and then I will love Him. I’ve been mixing it up, out of order…backward.
To set my heart on Him. To love Him intimately.
To breathe in deeply of Him…of His love.
This, this alone, is my prayer today.