“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’”2 Corinthians 12:9a
I use these words every day.
They describe my emotions.
They describe my rushing.
They describe the state of my heart.
They name my sin.
I’ve hidden behind these words and I’ve ignored the strain and I’ve whispered gentle lies to my heart.
It’s normal to be stressed – lie
It’s okay to be anxious – lie
Stress is the cost of ministry – lie
This is just who I am – lie
And these whispered lies have trapped me from seeing my anxious heart for what it really is…
a heart that fails to trust Him
a heart that fails to breathe in deep of His life and truth
a heart that fails to live that He is all I need
Because I can know and not live. I can see and not believe.
And all this knowing and seeing is useless if I won’t speak and live the truth. The truth is that my anxious straining is sin. It is a lack of trust in my Savior. It fails to live in the grace He has poured out upon me.
And I live truth in the moment that I kneel and repent. And in that moment there is joy. This broken moment of my confession is joy and beauty, because He has forgiven me.
He has washed away my sin…my anxious straining.
As I whisper a plea for His forgiveness, the joy of freedom floods my heart. And my heart sings loud and wild that I am free.
This crushing worry, it has no power over me for He has promised that sin no longer has power over me. And as I feel the straining creep into my heart, I can sing this truth and freedom over my heart.
He has freed me from the power of sin…it cannot hold me.
Instead I am held and healed in His loving embrace, washed by grace.
I can look into my broken heart with boldness because it has been healed.
I can freely see my worry as sin because it has been forgiven.
I can confess and seek forgiveness because He can already given it.
I can see my worry as sin and rejoice because He has declared that sin no longer has power over me!
I am free.