Hello, my name is Forgiven.
And forgiveness is freedom.
I never fully felt the freedom and joy of my own forgiveness until I wrestled in the murky waters of forgiving someone who hurt me.
If I had named myself at that moment I would have said ‘Broken’, ‘Hurt’, and ‘Wronged’.
I felt broken into the tiniest pieces.
I felt like my world had stopped.
I felt unable to do anything beyond hat one moment of intense hurt.
I had said that I had forgiven. But does forgiveness feel stuck in the past and broken for the future?
And there were good days and there were bad days and God’s Word brought comfort and truth to my heart, but it didn’t last. A thought of the wrong would come and I would keep it close, turning it over in my heart and mind until the brokenness was so tangible I could taste it.
And that’s not forgiveness.
And as I prayed and wallowed in the pain, God pointed out my wrong in the situation. The brokenness and the pain just grew with the realization of part I had played. And the past was bitter and future was bland.
And now I added the word ‘Guilty’ to my list of names.
Broken
Hurt
Wronged
…and Guilty
And after six weeks of emotional agony, there came a day when God pressed heavy on my heart, “No more.” I knew it was time to truly let go, but I wondered how…
So I looked up verses on forgiveness. I copied them out slowly, letting the weight of warning seep into my soul…letting the weight of freedom wash my heart clean.
“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Matthew 6:14-15 {emphasis mine}
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
1 John 1:9 {emphasis mine}
And I repeated the words and pounded the truth into my heart. His truth slowly but steadily penetrated my mind, my heart and my soul. So I pressed hard into Him, into His truth. And at the end I felt free. At the end there was simply awe and humility over the beauty of my freedom in Him and a choice to release the thoughts of bitterness that would pour into my heart.
And since that moment…I’ve felt free.
I’ve been free.
I’ve been forgiven.
And I’m suddenly that person with tears springing to her eyes when she talks about the cross and about forgiveness. And the freedom of forgiveness can only truly come when I’ve forgiven others.
Because it was impossible for me to see the weight of all He forgave me and the fullness of His forgiveness until I had to replicate a tiny piece of it in my own life.
And sisters, I am forgiven! You are forgiven! Those past mistakes that come back to haunt us in our moments of pain and discouragement…they are Forgiven!
Gone!
Washed away!
You don’t need to feel guilty or mourn for past sins anymore. They have been cast as far as the East is from the West.
You are free and forgiven.
You are free and forgiven so that you can spread that freedom on.
You’ve been forgiven so that you might forgive.
Hello, my name is Forgiven and I am free!
Today I’m cohosting a link up with Kerrie from Life on a Mission and Kerry from Glory in the Valley.
This link up is about recognizing and rejecting the lies that we live under and instead recognizing and living as who we are the through the grace of God. We’re casting off the false names we give ourselves or others give us and we’re putting on the new names we’ve been given in Christ.
So will you join us?
What new name has God been revealing to you?
What new identity has God given you to live under?
How is this realization changing the way you live your life?
You can visit any of our blogs to link up your post, then stick around to read what God is doing in the hearts and lives of other women. You will be blessed and encouraged.
Kerrie Williams – twitter and instagram
Kerry Todd – twitter
Alesha Sinks – twitter and instagram
Be blessed
<3
Wow Alesha. Such true words. I’ve experienced something like this myself. Trying to forgive on my own but then always realizing I hadn’t. I had to finally just tell God I couldn’t do it and I needed His guidance in helping me. Because the unforgiveness was only affecting myself and my relationship with God. Always hanging there. He finally helped me to forgive. And then two years later I got the apology I had been wanting for so long. Sure, I wish it had come earlier, but I think I needed to learn to forgive without being asked forgiveness to teach me what it means when God forgave me when I was yet a sinner. I’m so glad you joined us in co-hosting today so I could read your words here 🙂
Wow Alesha. Such true words. I’ve experienced something like this myself. Trying to forgive on my own but then always realizing I hadn’t. I had to finally just tell God I couldn’t do it and I needed His guidance in helping me. Because the unforgiveness was only affecting myself and my relationship with God. Always hanging there. He finally helped me to forgive. And then two years later I got the apology I had been wanting for so long. Sure, I wish it had come earlier, but I think I needed to learn to forgive without being asked forgiveness to teach me what it means when God forgave me when I was yet a sinner. I’m so glad you joined us in co-hosting today so I could read your words here 🙂
so good! praise God that He is able to lift what burdens our heart and give us freedom only found in Him.
so good! praise God that He is able to lift what burdens our heart and give us freedom only found in Him.
Alesha- your words are so true and are also so applicable to all of us. Thank you so much for sharing your new name.
Alesha- your words are so true and are also so applicable to all of us. Thank you so much for sharing your new name.