I like to wait for the big moments.
The big moment of clarity.
The big moment of healing.
The big moment of peace…of restoration…of grace.
Because in the hours or days or even months after a big moment, I feel free and whole. But feelings fade even when feelings are based on truth.
And I’m learning there’s a daily part.
A part of faith that requires you to take a stand every day, every hour, to live from what you know is true, not what you feel.
And it’s not just faith.
And I didn’t realize it till later, but Adam Leviene said it a few weeks ago…“We are all nervous all the time. You know…It’s like part of the job! But to kinda never make anyone believe you are is part of the performance.”
And if a star like the lead singer of Maroon 5 still gets nervous when he preforms for a living, why would any performer think that they hit a point where they are beyond it and above it and good enough to stop working hard?
And why would I think that I’ll hit a moment where my faith becomes strong enough that I’ll never have to battle my sinful heart to trust God again?
So often I live for the big moments, holding my breath until they come and I can release and rest. But the moment of great faith or great trust or great peace never lasts.
And I’m left wandering in the moment, wondering how long I’ll have to wait for the next big moment, the next big revelation. But I’m wandering and wondering when I should be running to Jesus. Running to His Word. Because I know and I am promised that there I will find comfort and strength.
Because it is a battle.
A battle in my heart.
A battle I will literally fight every day…but in the fighting I’ll become stronger because I will realize the greatness of His strength.
It’s a daily battle to wrestle my heart to a place of resting in Him.
Because He is worthy.
Because He is strong.