I’ve shared before the crippling effect my perfectionist, A-type personality has had in different areas of my life. One I haven’t discussed in depth is goal setting.
Ladies, let me be perfectly honest. The thought of setting goals almost paralyzes me. I am generally a decently motivated person, but I am also terrified of letting myself become dominated by my motivation. I see my inward propensity toward extremes, and so I keep myself safely perched in the middle…going no where.
I set no goals, so that I neither succeed nor fail. I take no risks, so that I neither excel nor diminish. I keep myself from passion so that I neither soar nor fall.
in little ways
for years on end
God has been gently teaching me to trust Him, to also myself to dream, to allow myself to try, to allow myself to plan, and yes, to allow myself to fail.
It started in the summer between my freshman and sophomore years of highschool. An upper class man who I had one conversation with…ever. But he spoke some of the most profound truth into my life.
“When you (fail), just start back up again the next day. Don’t worry about it.”
Those may not be the exact words he said, but the meaning has stayed crystal clear over the past six years.
See, when I mess up, I spiral downward.
“My goal is gone, no longer attainable.”
“There is no point.”
“Why even try now? I’m already a failure.”
See the perfectionist?
Do you see the lies?
God doesn’t require perfection of me.
He requires brokenness.
He requires humility.
He requires repentance.
He requires surrender.
Because He knew all along that I would fail…every time.
That is why He sent His Son.
To forgive my sin
To redeem my mistakes
To heal my scars
To releave my burdens
To clothe me in righteousness
To wash me in His blood
To make me His child
Tears of joy.
It is well with my soul.
So ladies, this year, I will be writing a list of goals for the New Year. I can’t sit in fear of failure anymore. I know I will fail.
And that’s okay!
I’m praying that God will redeem these pitiful attempts at righteousness. I’m praying that I will not try to do this on my own.
Because I can’t!
The only way I will succeed at these goals is to surrender my will and to allow God to guide my footsteps daily (even if that means not completeing a goal to do what god has planned)! But it also means taking a step of faith and trying to pursue the things God has placed on my heart! I can’t sit paralyzed by fear of failure. I have been given the Spirit of God and by faith I need to work towards things I believe he is calling me to. To not pursue them passionately out of dear of failure would be disobedient and dishonoring to my Savior.
So join me.
Pray over them
Surrender to the Holy Spirit
Step out in faith
Be okay with failure
And above all…p
Do this for the glory of God, and Him alone
P.S. These are the goal categories that I will be setting goals in. Do you ladies have any suggestions for additional categories?
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Fingers Crossed this comment works…just wanted to say my word for 2013 is trust for exactly the reasons you have listed above. It is so easy to fear failure but that is not Gods plan. He will not let you down. I pray that God will reveal to you his will over the coming days so your goals are in line with his desires. 🙂
Thanks so much for you prayer! (and your help with my comments) Yesterday, I heard a Pastor say, “Fear is a lie.” So true, fear isn’t part of God’s plan. I really need to remember that. Thanks again for your encouragement!Alesha